Delicate Boy
by Raccoon48
Summary: .ONExSHOT.FabianxCaradoc. "You know she's completely delusional." WARNING: OBSCURITY


Delicate Boy

Fabian tromps down into the Entrance Hall, heavy boots clomping loudly on the marble staircase; a sleek dragon hide jacket hooked by a finger and slung casually over his shoulder. Looking preoccupied and expectant, he reaches the bottom of the staircase and joins the throng of students heading towards the front doors. Hogsmeade weekends are always like this: crowded, noisy and with a perhaps excessive level of excitement. Of course, this is at times useful for conducting malicious, mostly Gideon-devised schemes intended for causing havoc and frightening the masses, but at this moment Fabian has things other than pranks on his mind and the crowds are frustrating.

He stalks impatiently across the tiled floor, dodging slow-moving groups of chattering friends. He is jostled by an elated third-year Hufflepuff girl with a handful of books, but with a glance at him her eyes widen and she backs off in surprise and awe. Her very female friends immediately fall silent, and Fabian resists the urge to shoot the girl a tempting wink. He tosses his deep brown loosely-tied hair instead. In his wake he hears the girls sigh and grins, amused.

"Fabian!" calls a high voice from the stairs. His grin vanishes.

He turns. Emily Forster is waving at him madly, her hazel eyes bright with excitement. Her golden blonde hair is pinned back at one side with a cute pink hairpin, and with her free hand she is clutching a small dressy blue bag to her shoulder -- the typical dressing-up charade every girl at Hogwarts displays for Hogsmeade trips. As she jumps down the last few stairs and rushes over to him, Fabian takes a quick glance over her outfit, and thinks detachedly that she ought to have gone for a less conspicuously-coloured bag. The blue just doesn't go.

"Ah… Emily," he acknowledges when she reaches him.

"Fabian!" she repeats breathlessly, wide-eyed as if surprised at his actually being there. "How, how are you?"

He shrugs. "… Not bad," he says shortly.

"Umm," she begins, flushing. With her right hand she pushes her hair behind her ear, smiling. It's not that she isn't good-looking, Fabian muses thoughtfully. Her face is nicely heart-shaped; her hair is thick and pretty and curls inwards slightly at the ends, and she has a nice figure. She's good-natured too -- while maybe a little obsessive, she's still reasonably kind and certainly not too self-absorbed like most of the girls her age. But her looks and her disposition are far from being the problem. "Are you going to Hogsmeade?" she asks expectantly.

"Yeah," he answers unnecessarily. _Who here _isn't _going to Hogsmeade?_ he wonders.

"Oh, well!" Emily says a bit too chirpily. She seems to be holding her breath. "Ah -" She glances back at the group of friends she left behind at the staircase, who are lingering and watching her apprehensively. "I- would you mind if I came with you?"

Fabian stomach sinks even further. "Ah. Umm."

"I don't really have anybody to go with," she explains with a hopeful smile.

Fabian frowns and looks pointedly at her group of friends, and her smile dwindles slightly. He swallows. "Well, I was -- uhh, I sort of have plans with Gideon…" he says vaguely. He hopes very much that she hasn't heard about his brother's most recent prank -- involving a hamster, a Colour-Change Charm and extensive amount of Lucius Malfoy's still-attached hair -- which was a complete success and wholly entertaining and all, but unfortunately resulted in Gideon's subsequent Hogsmeade-morning detention.

Evidently she hasn't, as her face falls convincingly. "What-what sort of plans? Could I -- err, could I help?" she attempts desperately. He is astounded by her nerve. At the mere mention of the potential 'plans' of Gideon and Fabian Prewett, most students of Hogwarts will howl and bolt for the safety of their closets, casting numerous Imperturbable Charms and not daring to emerge for several days. (Knowing this, Fabian secretly intends to concentrate their next major prank on the cupboards and closets throughout the school, and those who may be taking shelter in them.) Therefore, someone willingly volunteering to be a Gideon and Fabian Prewett prank guinea-pig is completely unprecedented, and frankly, insane. This girl can't be mentally stable. Nonetheless, Fabian ponders the possibilities. Having a devoted test subject could be extremely useful, no matter how annoying she might become or how she might ask to be repaid for the service.

Emily suddenly seems to realise the implications of her offer, and immediately looks rather terrified. She falters. "Ah, I mean -"

"Fay!" a delighted voice rings out across the Hall.

Fabian's eyes widen with pleasant surprise, and he whirls around. His hair is so shiny that it catches the light when he moves, and Emily feels a wide-eyed, adoring creature in her chest squeal loudly and swoon, rendering her temporarily stunned as a tall, dark-haired sixth-year bounds up to them.

"Hello, hello," Caradoc says cheerfully, slinging a solid, rock-like arm easily around Fabian's shoulders and looking Emily up and down. Fabian shoots him a quick glare for calling him '_Fay_' -- what if Emily adopted that nauseating nickname? -- and then looks away uncomfortably. "Emily, isn't it?" Caradoc inquires, ignoring him. "Off to Hogsmeade?"

Recovering admirably from her Fabian-hair-induced daze, Emily replies, "Oh, yes -"

"- I hear Gladrags has got in quite a range of new fancy skirts and such," continues Caradoc pleasantly. Despite his outward easiness, he is cunningly taking control of the conversation, and Emily blinks, disoriented by his surprising knowledge of shopping stock. "From that brand, oh, what was it -?" Caradoc tilts his head and looks at Fabian expectantly, who scowls, annoyed. "- they do bags and everything… oh, Witch Style?"

Emily's jaw drops.

"I suppose you're going with your friends?" Caradoc asks, smiling and apparently oblivious to the torment he has just inflicted upon this girl. "You'd better hurry; I think every girl in the school'll be storming the shop…"

Emily hesitates for a moment, glancing frantically at Fabian and then to her friends, who, convinced of her success, have started moving out towards the doors together. Emily smiles fleetingly at Fabian, then says quickly, "Right, yes -- aha," she laughs distractedly, "-- I'd better go, then, you know, ah," she nods vaguely towards her friends, then waves, too enthusiastically, at the two of them. "Bye then!" She flees.

Fabian shakes his head as she rushes with astounding speed to the front doors. "That was cruel," he says scoldingly to Caradoc -- but an amused smirk plays at his mouth.

Caradoc grins. "Well, she was threatening our precious Hogsmeade time, was she not? During which I believe we had planned to devise wicked schemes, consume painful amounts of sweets…? Guythings, you know. I really don't think she'd fit in," he says airily. "And besides, you know she's _completely_ delusional, Fay."

"Don't _call _me that," Fabian mutters.

"Well, I have to call you _something_. Something other than _Fabian_ -- it's very… well, _pompous_, have you noticed?"

Watching Emily rejoin her group and apparently exclaiming loudly to them, while several of the girls look from her to him in confusion, Fabian cocks an eyebrow and smiles faintly. "Only if I can call you _Cara_."

Caradoc makes a face. "Ugh. Point taken." He follows Fabian's gaze. "Funny, you'd think, being in Ravenclaw, she'd be a little more perceptive," he speculates, furtively running a finger through some wavy strands of Fabian's hair that have come loose from his ponytail. Fabian shoots him a warning glare. Caradoc, unabashed, obligingly lowers his hand. "Aren't we supposed to be the smart ones?" he says lightly. "And, you know, her hair is shorter than yours. That can't be right."

"So's yours," Fabian points out, indicating Caradoc's short spiky mop of black. He turns back to eye the girls critically. Now apparently having heard Emily's news, with the gleam of euphoric shopping anticipation lighting their eyes, they prance out of the doors past Filch and on towards Hogsmeade, not stopping for a moment to wonder why they hadn't heard about this new development from anyone else, and why _Caradoc Dearborn_, of all people, should have been the one to inform them of it.

"Do you think she'll be mad when she finds out Gladrags _doesn't _have any new stock?" says Caradoc conversationally. "And she gave up her potential -- and delusional -- day spent with you?"

"If she is mad, she's your responsibility," Fabian declares, frowning again. "I take no part in your sneaky, malevolent trickery." Caradoc raises his eyebrows. After a moment, Fabian sighs. "She won't give up, you know," he continues resignedly. "She'll be back."

"At which time I will again invent a useful distraction," Caradoc replies. "Unless you'd rather I told her the truth?"

Fabian sighs again, annoyed, and Caradoc takes that for a _no_.

The Entrance Hall is nearly empty, only a last few unenthusiastic Hogsmeade-goers now trooping towards the school exit. "Well, come on," Caradoc says, taking Fabian by the elbow and pushing him forwards. "Zonko's?"

* * *

**A/N: **Well, I'd completely abandoned fanfic, and then randomly this little useless HARRY POTTER story popped into my head and demanded to be written. I blame unnecessarily extensive readings of _The Shoebox Project_ (which if you haven't read it, GO NOW), and the fact that there is only one other Fabian x Caradoc story on this site! GASP. Credit for the title goes to the song "Cherry Lips" by Garbage. HA.


End file.
